The Perfect Plan

…oh, I know, I know! I am the The Perfect Being and all, but, you know what would be really great?

Don’t get ahead of me! LOL

Wouldn’t it be really great if We created this whole line of ‘time and space’ or whatever, right? And it’s IMMENSE! But, We will make this microscopically tiny, ‘special’ galaxy (lol, whatever, there are kagillions of them) to hold a tiny, tiny solar system (again, bagillion) off on the corner with this fabulously tiny planet — most of which is covered in water or sand — and we’ll have, for just a few thousand years of the planet’s few billion year life span, a race of primates.

Well, no. Other organisms and the like. Parasites. Blood. Meyhem and so forth.

So, that’s just the setting.

Oh, it’s brilliant! Makes me itch just thinking about it!

Here’s the thing: We won’t tell these chimps anything, right?

What’s that? “Why the chimps?”, you ask?

Pfft. Why not? I don’t care. Make it the kangaroos. Or, sand scorpions. Who cares?

Whatever. Anyway. “Chimps”.

We’ll just play it cool for a few generations, then, later in their glorious timeline, we’ll do a thing with a “revelation” (or whatever) in some insignificant bit of hill country no one’s ever heard of, yeah?

But, here’s the thing! (GAH! This is my favorite part! LOL). We will totally screw with them!

Like, non-stop! Yeah! Confusion. Hunger. Interpersonal problems. Visual hallucinations. Acne. Tricks of the senses. Fragile bones. Phantom memories. Bad mortgages…

And, when they die, we won’t just let them…

Oh, yeah — the smell will be terrible!

anyway, when they die, we won’t just let them, you know, “disappear” from existence or whatever, with a “thanks much, hope you enjoyed the ride”. No, we will keep them around, just to screw with them ONE MORE TIME.

I like to call it The Test.

It isn’t a “test”, really. Just me being who I am. C’mon, I already know how it goes down. I gotta be Me!! LOL!!

It’ll be all, “left hand”, “right hand” (it’s a chimp thing — not supposed to make sense): If I like ’em, they get Paradise forever (that’s how I’m marketing it — wait ’til they find out). But, if I don’t like ’em — off they go to be punished forever.

What’s that? No. None of them has the slightest idea. Like I said, I already know who I do and don’t like!

Seriously. They’ll only know what’s happening at a particular time and place. They’ll never see the whole thing — they won’t even remember what happened moments before, let alone what will happen.

Most of them will be completely shocked! LOL “Oh, I don’t know what’s happening! Why? Aghg!” And then I’ll give ’em the whole narrative about “oh, but you KNEW!”. But they won’t actually, so they’ll be completely confused.

Oh, of course, they’ll get confused if they just don’t drink water for a day or two or if you bump ’em on the head. Completely helpless.

I can see the whole thing from beginning to end like it was yesterday!

It’s the Perfect Plan! I can’t wait!



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